Home » My Journey » The Longing for Justice

The Longing for Justice

During the years of abuse, I reported my abuser to the Police more than once. He was known to the Police for his interest in young girls. I was not the first and I know I was not the last.

Despite this, the police were about as useless as a chocolate teapot, in fact their reluctance and even refusal to do anything just increased the already huge amount of guilt I was carrying.

I do not trust the Police, I do not trust our justice system. I do not believe I would be safe to report my abuser again. I do not not want to have to go through more disclosure, distressing video interviews and should it make it to court (yeah right) be treated as if I were the one on trial.

Yet I still long for justice. More so, now I am facing the true extent of what he did. I wish I could report him and be taken seriously, without being blamed in any way. I wish I could have my day in court to look him in the eyes while I out him for who he really is.

No punishment is suitable, nothing could take away the pain and horror of what he did to me, but if he could be made to pay in some way for his many sick crimes, it would be something at least?

And if a miracle happened and he actually went to prison, at least I would know no other girls or women could be hurt by him- a responsibility I continue to carry.

Do you ever get over the longing to bring your abuser/ rapist to justice?

11 thoughts on “The Longing for Justice

  1. I’d like to think that I would be able to IF the abuser wasn’t a family member… but you never really know do you until you are in that exact situation…

    • Thank you for your comment. It’s so hard isn’t it? I tried, I wasn’t taken seriously- numerous times. When do i give in?

      I can imagine the abuser being a family member brings about different and complex issues- I can understand why it would be hard to go down the route of Police/ court.

  2. No. My abuser has been jerking the system around for a while now, since last December but you know what, I found that writing numerous letters to Gvt officials and cussing at the Crown Prosecution and telling them to do their F’n jobs has actually helped my case from falling through the cracks. I know all too well how taxing and humiliating it is to have to go through the whole mess many times over but you have the strength to do it…and make sure when you write a letter, copy the media. You are strong and you can do this.

    • Thank you- and I am sorry you are yet to find Justice. It’s been 10 years since I last reported and they didn’t even arrest him. While I want justice, I am not sure I want to go through it,. Maybe things have changed and I should try again.

      I hope your case makes it through

      • Sometimes I think that is what “officials” want, for us victims to go away… I guess sometimes we have to decide what is best for us. I hope you find resolution if not, find peace. <3

  3. I firstly wanna say u got so much courage letting the police know ..but im also sorry they haven’t taken you seriously that makes me sick…
    my continues hope is to get to justice but haven’t had guts at all …I wanna and often feel sick with determination but I fail myself each time..mainly as he already denied it some years back when I confronted him.
    Please take it easy ..everything has a session to happen in xoxo

  4. I agree with Bourbon. I can’t prosecute my abuser because he is my own father. I mean, I could try, but I wouldn’t get any support from my family. I couldn’t win without them.

    • Thank you for your comment. I am so sorry you were abused and that your abuser was your father. I can understand completely why you do not want to prosecute. My abuser was not a family member and still while I want justice, I am not wanting to go through it. I did a video interview 10 years ago, the Police didn’t even arrest him. :(

      We all deserve justice and peace.

  5. I’m so sorry. I have such a hard time understanding why the police don’t always step in. And actually, I have a hard time understanding so many instances of wrongs left unrighted.

    • Thank you. It’s playing on my mind a lot lately. But I didn’t fail me and I am not failing all the other victims.

      I tried, several times. I was seen as a nuisance at first and then eventually, they just didn’t think it would go to court, given my history with my abuser.

      I am not sure I can or want to go through it again. x

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