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Barrier of Shame

Shame stopped me talking about what I wanted in therapy today. I couldn’t tell him the details swimming around my mind. I’m a little frustrated with myself and upset at this deep feeling, which is proving to be a very real barrier, more so than ever before.

 

How do you tell?

How do you explain?

That secret inside

submerged in shame.

 

When you want it out,

but your walls are high

protecting your humiliation

and the encompassing pain

 

She wanted to confide in him

the darkness concealed there

to disclose that nightmare

buried in the depths.

 

But by telling that truth

she would be exposed

naked, vulnerable

forced to share the stain.

 

Who wants to hear this?

To hear her explain?

The long kept secrets

Submerging her in shame.

 

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One thought on “Barrier of Shame

  1. That’s it exactly. To name it aloud somehow makes it real. To name it aloud means it wasn’t a nightmare, but something real that is darker than any nightmare. To name it aloud so that another hears it means another knows, and that is something we don’t want. We’d rather be alone with our humiliation. Having others know only makes it worse because every time they look at us, we can see in their eyes that they know and are thinking about it.

    Yet, we need help. We need another to know so we aren’t trapped inside alone with it. We need another to know so they can show us the way out.

    How many people are there on this planet? Something like 7 billion? We could all have been born on separate worlds and live alone. But we aren’t. For some reason we are living on a planet with 7 billion other people. Seems to me that says something. We shouldn’t have to face it alone. We’ll just have to trust, something that doesn’t come easily anymore.

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