He asked me yesterday what fight I have inside
Could I pretend he was fear and show of what I’m made?
I told him I couldn’t do it, that I wanted to run away.
He pointed out that I fight, every single day.
I am stronger than I know, to ever get this far.
but I don’t just fight the past, I am in a constant battle
A struggle with myself, feeling versus control
Yesterday he saw it, the conflict in my mind
I lost control briefly and I was terrified
The fight was automatic, my defences kicked in
Oh it feels so good to win, almost euphoric
To feel, then regain control whenever I want it
He says I’m like a shaken coke bottle
barely containing, ready to explode.
I cannot continue with conflict, I need to let it go.
So the fight will no longer be my life.