Home » My Journey » PTSD sucks

PTSD sucks

I am so angry right now. This morning, yesterday too, I felt ok, calm, grounded. As I drove to work this morning, I realised how good it felt to be in the “here and now” I was, I was present and it was so exciting for me to feel it and know that this will (and I’m determined) be my reality one day.

I went to work, which was fine, until the Emergency lighting was tested. The corridors were dark with this sort of yellow light. As I walked through from my office along a corridor to reception I was hit by a Flashback. The lighting was too familiar, the dark corners, the door ways, the quiet. I felt sick. I managed to ground before I hit the floor.

So now I’m angry, PTSD trying to ruin my day, PTSD sucks, this sucks. I hate you PTSD and I hate him, oh how I hate him.

Enough, ENOUGH. I want to live here, now, not then.

 

Ok, now that’s off my chest (and it helped for sure) I’m going to swim as I had planned and turn this day back around.

 

Thanks for reading.

 

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11 thoughts on “PTSD sucks

  1. I’m sorry this happened, I understand your anger. I hate how PTSD can just spring up from nowhere and hit you with flashbacks and it can just ruin the whole day. Glad you are fighting it and turning the day around – hugs xx

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