I don’t care that it is normal, I don’t care that I am not a freak.
All I know is that is hurts and I’m eaten up with rage
and the shame is smothering me, I feel I can barely speak.
I am trapped by these feelings, it’s as if I’m imprisoned in a cage.
I don’t want to feel that rage and I don’t want to have this pain
because it feels as if his evil, still lurks inside of me
and it never gives in, it’s always fighting to take the reins.
I know I must let it go, or this is how it will always be
but it it sickeningly safe, I fear it is all I’ll ever know.
I am so anchored by that presence and the familiarity,
will I ever have the strength, to finally let go?