Today is shite. Well and truly shite.
Triggers and stress but mostly a sadness or a longing, or something that is weighing me down. I want to be at home at all times. No work, no socialising, no school run, nothing. I just want to spend every moment in my rocking chair, surrounded by my things- comforted, safe and loved.
I don’t want to be at work, it all seems so unimportant. Who cares if an order isn’t done on time? Really, in the grand scheme of things, what does it matter? I hate feeling this way.
I cannot help but be upset at recent abuse cases in the news, one in particular. Strangely, I find myself envious. Justice, I will never have.
Therapy Friday brought up so much, things improved over the weekend, but that stuff hasn’t gone away. My T often assures me things will fade, but right now it all feels too much. It’s like the reality is so bright, I have to shield my eyes every time I am forced to look at it.
I cannot face my journal, which is why I am “writing” here. Too many big things to explore and without my T for two weeks, I am way too afraid to write right now.
I feel raw. Heavy. Burdened.