I have had this vision, for some time. It used to be my goal, until the pressure turned problematic for me. So now it is a vision, a vision of the future of how I want to feel and who I want to be.
My vision is full of light, hope and beauty. I have always imagined it as an entity, one that is existing within me, waiting, watching. An awesome light waiting to shine.
My vision, my dream, my hope and my desire, is to be free. Free from shame, free from guilt, free from control and free from the grooming.
Free to be me.
And while that vision is primarily for me because I so desperately want to be free, equally I want to shine for others too. I want to create ripples in this world, that will reach far and wide. I want to spread love and light where the darkness has encompassed. I want to break through the ugly and replace it with beauty, I want to tear away the evil and leave only good and truth.
Today, I feel utterly defeated- and like so many times before, what is keeping me going is that bright vision of freedom. And I think today I finally understand that the light that is guiding me is one I have been shining for myself all along.