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About

In May 2012, I began my healing journey.

I was sexually abused from the age of 14 until I was 21. I was also raped by a group of strangers when I was 17. I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, which was untreated until a year ago, when I entered into therapy.

In therapy, I’ve grown in confidence, I’ve told family and friends about my past, I feel like I am finally facing my demons. The shame and embarrassment is not what it was, I want to speak out about my experiences past and my healing in therapy now.

Shedding Light on Darkness is not just about my healing but it’s also about raising awareness of sexual abuse and rape as a whole.

I want others to know how prevalent it is, I want to see a change in the way victims are treated, in the media and by the Police. I want to bring truth to the many myths, I want to challenge the rape apologists.  I want to give other victims the confidence to talk about what happened to them.

Most of all, I want to bring an end to sexual violence. It must be brought out of darkness and into the light.

49 thoughts on “About

  1. This is a tough one to “like.” I didn’t “like” the idea at all. Been there, done that. May the Lord lead you to freedom as you get to know Him better and better.
    Thanks for following Lessons By Heart! 🙂
    \o/

  2. I really admire your courage. I live in a country where rape is not taken too seriously. It has happened time and time again, but the police has always been slow. Sometimes I hear some idiots from the government talk about it as if it is a light matter. Sad truth. But it’s like that in certain countries.

  3. I can tell you that as I read your story, I felt that God is raising you up to be a voice to the voiceless. I have felt this for a long time that He is raising up an army to fight for victims and feel that you are a big part of this army. I am so glad that you and I both are trying to reach out and let God’s light shine to help others.. Many blessings to you..

  4. I am so happy to have connected with you and join you on this awareness move. All Gods blessings from Arise Woman.

  5. Good for you!!! I pray that you have a blessed recovery and will affect the lives of the afflicted and bring healing.

  6. God Bless you SheddingLightOnDarkness~ I cannot imagine how hard it must be to go through this and try to function. I have 2 daughters and I can’t imagine trying to be “Mom” and deal with demons at the same time. They are truly demons. You have been chosen by God to lead the way of healing for yourself and many others. I only read a few posts and you have inspired me! Lots of love. I pray God’s grace and mercy flow over you like a tidal wave ❤

  7. Thank you for sharing your journey. I guess we get there by fighting against the tide and debris all the way through. Thinking about recent news of “not guilty “verdicts” I don’t think its possible not to feel. I think about the amazing women and men who have had the courage to put themselves in a place of such vulnerability by going through the legal process. I feel these woman and men are utterly amazing people. I take heart when I hear about guilty verdicts such as the school headmaster last week.. For an amazing take on vulnerability see http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html
    Looking after ourselves is so necessary,and I guess your husband is probably right. Trouble is I haven’t worked out quite how I do this.
    Thinking of you
    loopyloos
    Cantcryunderwater.wordpress.com

  8. I have nominated you for the Brave Heart Award: http://wp.me/p3UZPT-qt

    Stand Strong You Are Not Alone

    I call you a survivor, because that is what you are. There are days when you don’t feel like a survivor and there are days when the memories trigger your past and it feels like you are losing the fight – but you are not. Take the past and heal with it. You are strong. I want you to know that the abuse was not your fault. It does not matter what age it happened. You did not deserve it, you did not cause it, and you did not bring it on yourself. You own no shame, guilt, or remorse. In your life, you have faced many demons but look around you and you will see there is hope, and there is beauty. You are beautiful, You are loved, there is hope. You deserve to be loved and treated with respect. You deserve peace and joy in your life. Don’t settle for anything less than that. God has plans for you. Your future does not have to be dictated by your past.

    Each step you take you are not alone.

    Stand Strong.

  9. Pingback: Brave Heart Award x2! | A Victims Journal

  10. Hello there,

    You have a really wonderful blog which has clearly inspired and helped a lot of people to move on from sexual violence. I’m sorry if my comment seems out of place but I couldn’t find an option to message you privately. I am a postgraduate student from the UK and I am currently researching the role of blogging for survivors of sexual assault. I would really appreciate it if you could spare a couple of moments to contact me as I am interested in using your blog as part of my research, and would like to provide you with more information.

    Thank you so much for your time. Have a great day and I wish you all the best in your journey to healing.

    Lalita

    • Hello and thank you 🙂

      I hope you will understand that I feel it best to decline, for my own safety and my own sanity right now.

      I applaud you for focusing your research on survivors of sexual assault and wish you well in your research.

      All the best
      Sheddinglight.

      • Hi again,

        Thank you for your quick response. I fully appreciate that and I truly hope that you find yourself in a better place soon. 🙂

        Best wishes,
        Lalita

  11. Strength and courage to you for sharing, so bravely, a part of your story here. There are so many who have suffered and many still do, in silence, for too long. It is never easy to shoulder this burden — no one should have to face it alone. And it is equally important to honour all aspects of the healing/recovery journey and process. It doesn’t magically change overnight, no how much we wish it could, or long for it, but with time, support, help and encouragement, it is possible to get better – and more — to reclaim a life that was stolen from us. More still – to rebirth ourselves and discover that we are so much more than what was done to us; we may always carry some scars, in some levels, but we don’t have to consider ourselves merely “victims or survivors” —we can and are able to be creators – not destroyers.

    • Thank you so much. You can’t know how much I needed to read this right now. I’ve made so much progress, but this last week has been a big set back, where I have found myself fearing that healing just isn’t possible.

      Thank you for your encouraging and timely comment.

      • This is the really hard part of the process, which just seems so impossibly difficult, that yes, there are times when we feel deep in our hearts it *isn’t* possible — but it *IS* …. I’m really glad that my comment found you right at the moment when you needed some “light” — not that I’m trying to be vain or anything; sometimes things – support and positive reinforcement come the “unexpected happenings or coincidences.” Be well and have faith in yourself – it will all come together, with time.

  12. Courageous comes to mind as I read your blog,I so sorry you went through this..
    But know to I’m along side you every step of the way in your journey. .
    Good on you for getting some help to.
    Thank you for following my blog to !

  13. Hello my friend
    Thank you for sharing your story. I glad to hear you are getting treatment for PTSD. I have seen my therapist for over fifteen years and she’s a life savers. We have similar backgrounds and she is the only person I feel comfortable telling certain events to. Maybe one day I will share everything, for no I’m glad to have someone to support me in my healing journey.
    Have a great weekend.
    M

  14. Nice to meet you! Over the past year, I have grown incredibly passionate about “Shedding Light on Darkness”, with regards to domestic violence and sexual abuse. I spent 13 years in an abusive relationship, believing, over time, that I was nothing…deserving of rape and emotional/verbal abuse by my husband. I believed it was “my duty” to stay quiet and accept that I was no more than “his property”. Well, I didn’t mean to write all that, but I encourage you to break the silence through your healing journey, all in its time. I found that once I started connecting with other survivors, I spoke less about it with the small circle of supportive people in my life, those who patiently listened to the same stories, same fears…over and over. Much love and light to your journey💜

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