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Me

I will remain anonymous, in that I will not be posting my real name, nor the real names of loved ones. This is not because I am ashamed of who I am or ashamed of my past, but because the man who abused me is still out there, I do not want him to know anything about me.

I have a husband and two children- boys, we live in England, Britain. I work part time in a job that I love.

I have a degree, I have a large family, I have a few friends.

Other important information about me:

I believe in God, absolutely, with no doubt whatsoever. I am not altogether sure of what that means for me though. I pray, I attend Church sometimes and I very much want to be a Christian. I guess that is a work in progress.

I am a Feminist!

I manage my PTSD with therapy and with support from my husband and more recently, some trusted individuals.

With the PTSD, therapy, work, the boys and a husband, I have very little time for hobbies. I used to enjoy swimming, I still enjoy Pilates. I want to enjoy Yoga.. but WOW is that hard work!

15 thoughts on “Me

  1. Hi SLD,
    I just want to say that you’re not alone, even though I’m sure you already know that. I have endured a whole walloping lot of abuse as I child. Some covert sex stuff, not overt that I can remember, but a therapist I once had told me to get a Cabbage Patch doll [I have no children] and shortly after getting her, I molested her. The desire to do this slowly built until it became so intense, I could not stop it.
    I also was raped by a stranger when I was 22. I thought he was going to kill me for sure. I think it was God who saved me from death at his hand.
    I am also very much a Christian and am glad you are challenged to become one too. Having to God of Jesus in my life has made the difference between life and death for me. Your desire to seek the God of Jesus means that the Holy Spirit is already moving in your life. God IS calling you to become one of His children. Have no fear, it will happen one day when you least expect it.
    love to you dear,
    robin

  2. I just wanted to stop by and say that you are incredibly brave for posting and writing about your life. You are so inspiring, to come and share your story and attempt to help others with your voice. I am glad that you have a family now and I hope that you are getting the healing and going towards the life that you truly deserve. Healing is never easy, but always worth it. *hugs*

  3. Hi I came across your post by accident…but I really can relate. I’m in my twenties, started T in May. Some of the things you said in your posts I had already written word for word in my diary. Kinda freaked the crap out of me when I saw it and made me cry:-p but still comforting to know somebody understands. Your poems are amazing – I wish I could be that articulate – just a load of noise at the moment. I’m a ballet dancer but distn makes it so much more difficult! The hypervigilence is crap and refereeing between the two exhausting. Sick of the wolf whistles, sick of being groped in clubs, Noises, Lights, Triggers. Everything you said. Fair play for the honesty-and heping even with all you’re dealing with. Every good wish for your recovery x

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